Firefly: River Tam's 10 Best Freak Outs, Ranked | CBR

Although Firefly was canceled after a single season nearly twenty years ago, it remains relevant and beloved by an immense cult following. The 'Verse continues to exist in comic books, novels, board games, and the 2005 film, Serenity.

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The sci-fi/western's popularity stems from its ragtag crew of characters – a band of outlaws, rebels, and do-gooders aiming to misbehave out in the black, taking any jobs they can to keep Serenity flying. Unfortunately, River's freak-outs often made life difficult for everyone, and some of these moments stand out more than the rest.

10 She Tried To Edit Shepherd Book's Bible

River's genius-level intellect and desire to make sense of her reality meant she usually saw everything through an analytical and logical lens. This became very apparent after she read Shepherd Book's Bible and claimed it was broken. While he watched in shock and disbelief, she tore out pages and made notes in the Bible attempting to fix contradictions and logistical errors that didn't make sense to her. She even tried to make the story of Noah's Ark more plausible by using quantum mathematical theory.

9 She Lost It When She Saw Shepherd Book's Hair Undone

River's eccentricities often led to strange, over-exaggerated reactions to ordinary things. This was the case when she saw Shepherd Book's hair undone for the first time. Because of the rules of his order, Book was required to keep his hair long. However, his glorious white mane was enough to send River screaming and hiding to escape from what she saw as a sentient creature perched atop his head. Fortunately, Zoe arrived and assured River that Book was going to put the hair away.

8 She Cut Jayne With A Kitchen Knife Without Provocation

River's ability to read the thoughts and emotions of others, along with her visions of the future, often meant she understood events on a different level than everyone else. Sometimes this meant acting based on information only she was aware of, like when she grabbed a kitchen knife and slashed Jayne across the chest without warning or provocation.

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The attack surprised the crew and River offered no explanation beyond saying, "he looks better in red." It's possible she saw a vision of Jayne betraying her and Simon, or felt his intentions to do so at some point and acted preemptively.

7 She Revealed All Of Badger's Secrets While He Held Her Hostage

River's interaction with Badger, while he held the crew hostage, showed just how strong her telepathic abilities were. She was able to read his mind and reveal some of his shameful secrets, lies, and insecurities in front of everyone. Fortunately for Badger, no one around realized what she had done. But the uncomfortable look on his face, while she emptied his dirty laundry in an imitation of his cockney accent, is priceless. Ironically, this public shaming actually made Badger like her.

6 She Shot Multiple Guards Without Looking

River surprised the rest of the crew, including her brother Simon, frequently. Despite spending most of her time rambling and screaming,, River displayed an aptitude for combat that went far beyond the limits of normal humans. Her psychic abilities and natural grace gave her the upper hand in most fights. This proved useful when a firefight broke out on Serenity. River picked up a pistol and killed three men with three perfect shots without even looking in order to save Kaylee.

5 She Started A Bar Fight And Nearly Shot Mal

Bringing River to a bar full of criminals and thugs who were most likely spoiling for a fight was probably similar to pulling a pin on a grenade and hoping it's a dud that won't explode. Though Mal understood the risks when he started using River's psychic abilities to help pull jobs, he didn't expect her to start bar fights. After being triggered by a commercial with subliminal messages, she beat the living daylights out of everyone in the bar (including Jayne) and was about to shoot Mal before Simon arrived and spoke her "sun's getting real low" shutdown phrase.

4 She Thought A Gun Was A Stick And Nearly Shot Someone

River usually had a tenuous grasp on reality. Her perspective of the world was a kaleidoscope of outside thoughts, emotions, and visions of the future. This caused her to hallucinate or see things that weren't real. Sometimes these led to frightening moments for the crew.

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At one point, River saw a stick lying on the deck of Serenity and picked it up. As she admired it, the rest of the crew panicked and begged her to put it down. Still believing it was a stick, she didn't understand that what she was holding could kill someone. Fortunately, Mal was quick to disarm her, but not before freaking everyone out.

3 She Saved The Crew From A Horde Of Reavers

In the film, Serenity, River seemed to gain an understanding of her purpose, abilities, and the events happening around her. Fortunately for the crew, it was at the moment they're about to die. While they hid from a horde of Reavers intent on skinning and killing them, River faced the monsters head-on, cutting them down while dual-wielding an ax and a sword.

When Alliance soldiers suddenly burst through the wall behind her, she was standing triumphantly atop a pile of dead Reavers. Despite being surrounded by several soldiers with rifles, River was prepared to attack them before they were given the order to stand down.

2 She Pretended She Was The Ship

When the bounty hunter, Jubal Early, snuck on board Serenity and took everyone hostage, River demonstrated her superior intellect and ability to stay one step ahead of the enemy. Over the ship's comm system, she told Jubal she had melted into Serenity and was the one with the ship. Despite his initial disbelief, he began to believe her as she divulged personal information from his past and called him out for being a sociopath. River's taunting slowly broke him down and caused him to lose his mind for a few moments. Her creepy, incorporeal laughter over the comm also helped to sell the lie.

1 She Threatened To Kill Jayne With Her Brain

Despite being half Jayne's size, River's unpredictability, cryptic way of speaking, and ability to know what he was thinking and feeling all the time clearly unnerved the brutish gunfighter. When Jayne woke up on Simon's medical table, paralyzed and wearing a brace around his neck because of an accident during a heist, he was already anxious and on edge. But after River leaned in and casually informed him she could kill him with her brain, he clearly believed she had the power to do it and it most likely terrified him enough to never betray the Tams again.

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